The past two weeks have been a build-up to a personal story that I would like to share with you.

I was born in July, Laura in October. I never let her forget that I was older. Not that it mattered
that much because we were the same grade. I was able to drive a few months before her, but that was about it. We didn't live near each for several years when we were kids so we spent a week or two during the summer together. Her neighbor had a pool that we got to use whenever we wanted. What makes an 8 year old more happy than a pool-on-demand?? Not much. We spent endless hours in the pool, watching old Disney Hailey Mills movies, walking to the liquor store and using the change we had scrounged up to buy Bazooka gum and jaw breakers. That girl could walk on black asphalt, in the middle of July in the Central Valley of California, BAREFOOT. Weenie me couldn't hang. She walked all the way to the liquor store and back completely unscathed.
We were (naturally) blonde-haired (usually, during the summer there was a tinge of green), blue eyed and close enough in age to pass as twins. Which we did. She was raised Mormon and me Evangelical Christian. She lived near a Catholic church and to me, at 8 years old, a church was a church was a church. We didn't kneel at my church, but for some reason I stepped inside the Catholic church, knelt down and prayed one afternoon. She promptly tattled on me. I have no idea why!
Laura came with us on a trip to the Grand Canyon one year. That girl could talk and talk and talk and talk and talk....My mom said she heard Laura chattering away for awhile without my sister or I replying. She looked back and my sis and I had long passed out, but Laura didn't care. She just keep talking and telling stories. What an imagination she had! On the same Grand Canyon trip she asked me about building a bridge to Hawaii. Ever the realist, I scoffed at her idea. There is
no way you can build a bridge to Hawaii. Yes, but
what if?! Laura, you can't do it. It will not work. But,
what if you could?! She never let it go!
For some reason or another, I was the one to leave her the most.
I went off to mission trips during the summers,
I left town to go to college,
I kept moving to LA for jobs or school. The summer after we graduated from high school, Laura left to go to junior college in Idaho. That semester she was gone was awful.
She left
me. How could she do that?! I learned then, it was much easier to be the leaver, than the left. She hit 'firsts' before me. Married first, had a baby first, got sick first. Neither of us saw
that coming so soon. We were in the prime of life! She, married with a baby girl, me in a serious relationship, new career, finally done with school. Life was beginning!
Summer 2014 she developed a cough. A pesky, persistent, voice-changing, worsening cough. She blew it off for a month. Until she almost collapsed at work and had trouble going down the stairs. Dr gave her a Zpack and sent her along her way. Late Summer nothing had changed. Her voice was still raspy, persistent damn cough, fatigue. Went back to the same Dr. Given an inhaler and cough medication and another Zpack. Early Fall, at the insistence of her husband, she asked for a chest xray for this cough that had not gone away for almost 3 months. A mass. Hmmmm. More testing. More imaging. To the point that the tech called the doctor to ask if he wanted additional imaging while Laura was still there. Bad sign.

Late Fall, Lymphoma. Formally, Diffuse Large B-cell Lymphoma. This tricky lymphoma had developed in her chest and due, not only to the location, but also the
lymphatic nature of
lymphoma, surgery was not an option. Radiation and chemo were initiated and initially successful! February 2015 the tumor that had originally drastically reduced, had now drastically grown. SOB (and this time I do not mean shortness of breath). The rest of Spring and Summer were spent in and out of chemo and the hospital, hair falling out, hair growing back, an engagement and wedding and pregnancy on my end, ballet for her daughter, traveling back and forth to Stanford. It was a rough year in so many ways.
My July birthday was coming up and she was at Stanford. I was living in LA, working in Bakersfield, and 20 weeks pregnant. I drove up to see her on my day off/birthday and spent the day with her at the Dr appointments and trial chemo treatment. She was weak, tired, happy but cranky. Why couldn't that nurse find the damn vein already?? I knew it would be my last birthday with her. I wanted to play Hand and Foot, the stupidest card game
ever (because she
ALWAYS won), but she was too tired. I wanted her to beat me one more time. Even though she
ALWAYS won, she kept playing that hand with me because she just liked playing. Don't get me wrong, she liked winning, but she also liked playing cards.
Summer faded into Fall and she was spending more and more time at Stanford. More time away from home and her little girl. Becoming more and more frail. Despite all this, she never lost her optimism. I'm serious. She fought hard. She never gave up. She never quit. I was the one thinking of losing her and she was planning my baby shower. Faith over fear was her motto and she never waivered.
Her 35th birthday came with a charity rodeo in her honor. She was well enough to attend and felt humbled by all the love and support. Halloween arrived with her little Firefighter walking the neighborhood. Saturday, November 7th my Dad called and said she was in the ER having difficulty breathing and maintaining her blood pressure. Her husband said she had trouble getting comfortable. My husband, my 34-week pregnant belly, and I
drove raced to Fresno the next morning. She looked awful. Jaundiced, tired, weak. However, despite her yellow complexion, those damn hospital lights changed her tone and she looked so much better! Who can look good with jaundice? Laura can! Her best friends were there and we all laughed and cried together. Bawled when she couldn't see us. We met with the oncologist.
I knew this was the last time I would see her on this side of Heaven. My baby shower was in 6 days. She kept saying she'd see me there! She'd be there late, but she'd be there.
Laura died Tuesday, November 10th, 2015.